Day 12- A Saturday

A different nurse again this day. Alex has been at the second hospital for nearly a week and is on his seventh nurse. This one scared me as she's younger than the ones we'd had and really quite loud; and a little in-your-face. But it turned out that this wasn't a bad thing as she encouraged me to take on a more hands-on role with Alex. She had me cleaning what was left of the umbilical cord, changing his diaper, warming his milk, and putting him into diaper shirts and sleepers before I took him out of the incubator, rather than just wrapping him in a blanket. She was also the first nurse to show me how to bathe him. He was so tiny in the giant tub that I had immediate anxiety about having to bathe him myself at some point, but I tried to just focus and watch the nurse as she carefully washed his face and hair, and then down his front, and then flipping him to his back before drying him off.

First thing this morning was difficult as I sat next to Alex in the incubator and watched as another mom and baby neared discharge. They were breastfeeding 5/8 feedings now, and the baby was taking the other 3 feedings by bottle, so his feeding tube was now out. I find these moments hard as it always seems that Alex is still so far away from reaching that point; but at the same time it's nice to see that one day he should get there as well.

I enjoy weekends at the hospital much more because of the quiet. The NICU has their regular visitors but less staff and less noise. There's always lots of room in the parking lot and when I take a break and wander down to the lobby, there are very few people in the halls. My husband also comes to the hospital with me on occasion since he's off work which is great company. It's not the same having my mom or a friend with me; they just don't seem to understand what it's like to be going through this experience, at least not like my husband.

I also noticed when I arrived home later in the day that I was excited to see my dog for the first time since this whole adventure began. I curled up with her on the couch; lay my head on her back, and stroked her fur gently. It was very comforting, and something that I realized I had been missing. I guess that's the thing about pets, their unconditional love and loyalty cannot be matched and it's something I should be taking advantage of.